The Dense and The Stupid
by UnratedCrimsonBlood
Summary: What could go wrong with two brilliant and smart remarking men, a situation leaving them with handcuffs and emotions running wild? Dense and Stupidity. Light/L One-Shot for Sekaro-Seki! Warning : Language, Shounen-Ai, suggested themes, etc. Rest inside.


Dense

(Light/L One Shot)

Authoress : UnratedCrimsonBlood

Fanfic : Death Note

Fanfic Setting : During the Kira Case, Tokyo, Japan

Dedication : To my big brother Sekaro-Seki!!! He's the one who requested a one shot of Light/L…well a short scene, that's it!

Warning : Shounen-Ai, Language, OCC-L, OOC-Light, suggested themes, etc.

Summary : Being handcuffed to a victim of choice and an insomniac detective can be so dense! But what happens when feeling-wise sparks begin to fly between both detective and suspect, during a crucial hour? Dense Emotions.

Light shifted himself awkwardly on the couch, from left to right, diverting his honey brown eyes on the frail figure serenely laying on the futon spread out on the floor; his wild ebony locks scattered on the white pillow supporting his head, his pale, bony cheekbones looked unusually relaxed; caressing his plain appeal and his lanky body shifting, trying to regain the well-needed slumber pertaining to the long nights without any sleep. Light hurriedly sat up, getting to his feet as he walked solemnly into the kitchen, shuffling his feet against the old-Victorian carpet while L's light weighing body was being dragged. The chain rustled and Light turned around, his honey eyes widen, glimpsing back to come across L fussily tossing and turns…and sleeping!

L groaned tiredly, snuggling a plastic doughnut against his chest. "Mum, five more minutes…just five more minutes." Light rolled his eyes, gently jabbing L in the ribs. "L Ryuuzaki, get the hell up, now." Silence coated the room for a moment. L's heavy eyelid shifted open, hoping he wasn't dead or waking up from an apparent sugar rush. It was neither. His eyes opened hastily, diverting his sight at Light and where he was positioned.

"Bloody Hell! Why am I on the floor like this? Oh…that's right! You dragged me on the floor in an attempt to kill me, Kira."

Light's eyes narrowed treacherously, angrily seething sentences underneath his breath. "How many _times _do I have to tell you : I'M. NOT. KIRA!"

L stared at Light, out of sheer innocence, staring at the alleged Kira suspect with unthinkable intensions, looking at the smushed treat underneath Light's feet. "Bitch, you stepped on my cake." Light's head jerked back promptly, almost giving the boy whiplash. The word seemed like a foreign language to the lanky, English resembling Japanese male, as if it was a roll of his native tongue. "What did you say, L Ryuuzaki?" Light still shocked at L's retorted statement, asked him politely, wanting to hear the improper language roll of the English male's tongue.

L interjected his usual monotone voice, detesting the repetitiveness of the sentence Light didn't clearly follow. " I said, 'Bitch, you stepped on my cake.' Now, can you get out of my way so I can go off to the store nearby to buy another Amaretto bundt cake and another French vanilla sponge cake that was imported from England that you so ruthlessly stepped on, _Kira_."

Light groaned loudly. He was a 23 year old junk food addicted detective, with a fetish for handcuffs, not a child! For Heaven's sake, he didn't have to deal with nonsense. Light could have basically taken a cruise to America and relax like the celebrities in Hollywood but NOOOOO, he has to deal with a nocturnal, insomniac 23 year old scrawny male. Light groaned loudly, once more, banging his head against the wall roughly. L stood besides him, smiling like a Chartreuxcat, basically disturbing Light and his provoked mood.

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L's obsidian eyes lit up almost immediately, diverting his eyes at the glass container enclosing the sweet treats and delectable necessities. L placed his face against the glass container, glimpsing childishly at the chocolately goodness as he felt his mouth water with the savoring taste of sweets swishing within his saliva. Light glanced up from his cell phone and saw L in a similar posture, boisterously glimpsing at the sugary-junk-food-that-could-induce-you-into a-coma.

"L. Pick out whatever delighting treat you want. I'm buying." Light stated, placing the cash on the counter of the pastries section. A delighted smile plastered on L's pale face, walking amongst the large section and let his eyes pick out the best choice.

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"Damn, at this rate you'll be dead in 25 years, no, make that 10 years." Light chortled, carrying the heavy boxes of sugary substances within his grasps without L's assistance, huffing slightly as he settled commodities in the green bench against him and settled down, not urgent in battling with L as it is. L turned and goofily grinned, writhing his lanky body in order to face Light. "But Light-kun actually cares about my health. That's the way I roll." Light rolled his eyes, agitated and wanting to wipe and mutilate the smile resting on Ryuuzaki's lips. "Damn Baka."

Light couldn't resist in watching L taking part in childish behavior in amusement, knocking down the box of stacked doughnuts like a hyperactive toddler would, wanting the taste of success- or in this case, sweets. "L, let me help you. You're acting like a child with ADD/OCD trying to steal some sweets from the pantry before your mom comes back from the store. Its real amusing." L glanced suspiciously at the suspected Kira, scratching his right leg with his foot, staring at the ground as a few thoughts popped into mind. " Amusement, huh? You know what's amusing and fantastic for me, Kira-kun? **Dirty, Sexy, Money**. You know that awesome show on ABC? Its amusing and satisfying." Light's jaw dropped. He couldn't believe it. Did anyone actually watch that show, let alone mention the cruddy name? Light shook his head, hearing stifling laughter and turned to L once more. "Joking. Kira-kun watches the show. I actually enjoy _handcuffs._ Its fun and erotic. The best of both worlds. The-"

"We get it, Ryuuzaki!" '_Knew that would eventually come into place in our conversation. Sooner or later, that necrophilia- handcuffed fetish detective is going to mention he's in love with a clichéd partner with a sexy body and a devious smile.'_

A long limousine drove near the curb they assembled on, slightly starling Light as the detective walked near the limousine. Did he know the person? The window of the limousine rolled down, revealing a sincere senile man that made L seem _normal. _

"Watari-san, how are you these days?" L asked politely. The old man's adorning smile turned upside down. "Not good, Ryuuzaki. As you know, Mello, Matt, Masuyo, and BB have landed themselves into feverent water, once more. For 15, 13 and 18, they seem to be a bunch of mischievous troublemakers."

"And that is? Wait, let me guess on this- Roger cannot handle them because he's a prune and can't loosen up and have a bit of fun for once?" L dead-panned. Watari shook his head and spoke seriously. "No, its actually worse this time. No, not breaking vase or anything childish in those terms."

"……"

"Ryuuzaki. Beyond Birthday's been placed under 247 hour supervision after another roommate died, since they believed he committed the crime…like the previous case like that. But that proved to be futile. Matt and Mello…are having consensual sexual relations and have been separated from being roommates. Roger caught them in the act and immediately blew the content out of proportion. Mello and his pride, boasted about his nights with Matt and Matt…told of the nights, as well. That pretty much ruined their chances. And Little Masuyo has been cutting and slicing her skin, believing she isn't as "promising" as the other students that have been ridiculing her. Of course, Mello and BB got into more trouble for bullying the girls who ridiculed Masuyo. They are all in some serious trouble." L's face didn't contort or show any emotions at that matter. No flinching or cringing did any justice, L acknowledged Mello, BB, Matt and Masuyo were usually involved in acrimoniously behavior/events, usually leaving Roger and Watari with more on their plates than needed. Sighing, L commenced the limousine with his 300 dollars worth of sweets and delectable of his sweetened choice. Watari opened the limousine's door, letting both men settle inside the comforting limousine as he began the engine.

L fidgeted within the limousine. His body desired and required the taste of sugar, in order for his body to cooperate with everyday life. It was almost like an addictive drug that you can easily get hooked on, it was to demanding. "Liiiiiight-kuuuun! Pass me the doughnuts and the pocky! Ohhh! Make it strawberry!" L crooned, flashing Light his obsidian eyes. Light rolled his eyes, annoyed on L's behalf, passing the nocturnal insomniac a box of doughnuts.

"How don't you ever get fat? You eat and you eat, and you eat, but you're skinner than an anorexic teen." L glared at Light and shot back : "Like I told you before, Light-kun, I use my brain's will power to burn the excessive fat gained from the sweets I obtain."

"Brain's powered will? Sounds like a diet pill or something. Do you take diet pills to remain so, super thin?" Watari turned his head once the car made an abrupt stop and chimed into the conversation, to complete the bickering between the two. "Both of you, silence. Your idle chat is turning out to be the most illogic conversation- since the time Matt and Masuyo trying to audibly talk when they had laryngitis." Light raised an eyebrow. "Damn, you seem to like talking bad about these children with peculiar names. What's with that?"

Watari rolled the window from behind, eyeing the suspected Kira and opened his mouth. "They are under my guardianship and they cause nothing but trouble. BB and Mello are the predominant loose behavioral-trouble makers, Matt and Masuyo are just accomplices in some of the stints committed. Now, can we have a peaceful ride without the crappy bickering and armed answers?" Light snorted, scrutinizing L as he stuffed his face with a delicious, strawberry iced doughnut. "Ummmm, let me think about that for 2.56 seconds. No." Light shrugged, unaware of the conversation and where the conversation was leading to, sliding back in the seat slightly. Watari paid attention to street instead of his own interests, driving past the street they passed once more, yielding a right turn and drove more on the boulevard closest to L's apartment complex, until a red flash halted his driving.

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L solemnly unlocked the door to his apartment complex's room, noticeably shuffling his pale feet against his over-the-top carpet, glimpsing in the corner of his dull obsidian eyes; Light struggled to carry all of the sealed white boxes into the apartment complex, wobbling as he moved further into the kitchen site. L grinned wildly, twirling the set of keys to the complex within his lanky fingers. Light's strength became futile, slipping on something plastic made. L turned to face Light as the suspected Kira drew him closer to his heated body, coincidently, L landed gently on top of Light's settling body, their fingers intertwined within each other's fingers and their flushed faces only centimeters away from each other's lips. The only thing that would ruin the moment is….

"L." Light called out urgently. L looked him in the eyes, glancing at a mixture of emotions roaming within his eyes. "Hmmmm? Yes?"

"Get. Off. Of. Me. Now."

"No. I Don't have to, plus, Light-kun's comfortable." Light groaned, emergent on patience as he shoved the detective off of his body and stood up. L thought, being the smart ass he masks, quickly grabbed the chain from the center and gave a quick pull, dragging Light onto the floor, once more. Light's natural tan skin seemed flushed and soft as he moved closer and closer to L's slightly creased lips, ready to kiss the man he wanted to kiss since the beginning…but a mischievous box of doughnuts that were on the edge of the closet fell between them, preoccupying L's attention. "Strawberry and Powdered doughnuts! Yummm." L quickly opened the box of delicious indulging junk food, selectively choosing a powder doughnut. Light felt like he was on rapist mode, watching L consume the powdery doughnut and licking his fingers improperly. L knew what he was doing and Light could have sworn his lips were dry.

L slowly licked his tender lips, acknowledging the suspected Kira was hormonal and sexually crazed…but, didn't distinguish the events that could occur next. L jumped playfully onto Light's body, landing on the floor with both pairs of lusty men trying to hinder themselves from ripping off each other's clothes. Light's honey brown eyes narrowed, glaring at L, but L had something planned up his sleeve. L wrapped his firm legs around Light's back , as Light brought them both together, crushing his lips against the crazed detective. Nothing could have ruined the moment.

"Dumbass."

L grinned, loving the name calling. "But I'm your Dumbass." L retorted purposely, feeling Light's tender lips crush his, feeling the clenching of their teeth and Light's slim finger trailing through his ebony locks.

"Sooooo. Is it a date or immediately in bed? Oh, a friends with Benefits relationship?"

"It's a date." Light wanted to bang his head against the wall nearby, but afraid his I.Q. would drop. L grinned like a Chartreux cat, innocently playing with his thumbs. "Can we go to Hershey park, to a Chocolate factory or to…CANJUN! That would awesome, especially that they have _romantic_ spots and relaxation galore! Sounds like fun, eh?" L pointed out, gladly stating the vacation that would help him relax and maybe, just maybe loosen up.

"You're so dense."


End file.
